Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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