It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
