He kissed a someone with a penis
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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