but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
