I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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