We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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