Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
