That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
