For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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