he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
