some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
