just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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