u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
