I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
