Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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