she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first