If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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