Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
