you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
