Come see our sink grown plant.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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