Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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