highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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