Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
