I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
