low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
