oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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