I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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