she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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