if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Two words: blizzard sex
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
