69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
