Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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