My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
