dude i'm inner monologue high
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
