they need to just BURY HIM!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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