Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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