it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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