I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
