he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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