Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
