my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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