i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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