yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
