based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize