if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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