3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it because I queefed?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
