I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
