Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
