His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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