you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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