i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
