Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
