Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
