Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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