I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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