you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
