I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
