i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
