Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
