I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
