So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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