so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
