i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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