I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We are all done wearing pants today
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
