my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize