he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
