What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
