Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
