Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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