It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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